Mrs. Human

 It is a different sensation. One I am not really accustomed to. You see I’ve spent the majority of life a prisoner in the darkest cell known to life. Trapped, feeling there to be no escape. I actually gave up on hope, but was even too cowardly to take my own life.

Being in such a prison changes you. If I were to see a blossoming rose, I would not marvel at its beauty, I would ponder just how long till it began to wilt. If I were to see an escape from the prison, I would just think that it was an entrance to a prison far worse.

A quality of this prison, that only adds on to the misery of its inmate, is the fact that freedom is clearly seen in front of you at all times. Another chance, a salvation right in front of your eyes. But still there is no hope. I see liberation through lifeless eyes, even the escape is just a mockery.

Say by some divine, no. Say by some purely impossible but in this case hypothetical reason, I would be able to escape this prison. Would I ever be able to hold the title of human, or man, or member of a society? What am I now, what identifies me as anything. I am breathing through my lungs, I am standing on my feet, but what else.

I mean even my tears have sunken; I am not to cry anymore. Years of crying, years of seeking help have worn them out. I remember at first how full of hope I was. Then I was truly existing, then I was truly alive. Even more alive than before I went into the prison. You see desperation brings out the true nature in man.

When I begged and begged for the lord to save me, when I sought help from whatever possible, when I pleaded sobbing, screaming, on my knees for the courage to take my own life. I did this over and over and over and over and over. But I guess after a while I became to grow numb, just how many times can one beg, just how many times can one cry?

And for what use, what good did god ever do to me. It is because of him I am here in this prison. He could have prevented it; he could have even prevented my existence before any of this even happened. Oh, how much I prayed, how much I worshiped. It resulted to nothing but a waste of breath.

Oh lord please save me; oh lord please show me the path to escape. Oh lord please give me hope, oh lord please give me mercy. Oh, treacherous beast, please just please end my miserable existence.

Hahaha. What a foolish man I was. To even ask him something. If the lord exists, then the lord is the bars of my prison cell, the lord is the one who destroyed the key to my cell.

Hahahahaahahahahahaha.

What am I, what am I, what am I?

This sensation, shall I indulge in it, what if it’s another trap. I even got into the prison because of a trap in the first place. Am I just the scum, just the type to make the same cruel mistake twice.

Is that what my existence is for?

Guide me please, someone just guide me. Someone just save me, please please.

Have mercy, have mercy.

There is no mercy, there is no saving you. You must learn to live with the misery, adopt it as a way of your life. If this salvation is the devil in disguise so, be it, I have been made to be a demon far worse than he. I know I don’t have horns; I don’t reside in hell. The devil has far more than me. I have nothing, my room makes hell seem like a preferable escape.

I must take the chance, right? I mean I have to I must. If I don’t then there’s no point to continue existing but there was never a point. Even before the prison there was never a point, but at least then I was fine with it. I could accept it because, the fact that nothing has any meaning gives everything meaning. Everything wilts away, so while it is blossoming it must be enjoyed and praised.

But now, now I am nothing but wilt. Just when will I crumble and die. I just want to die, and be carried by the wind. To be dropped in fire, to have all traces of my existence gone forever. It’s not like I have an identity, so even my physical form shall be gone.

Gone, gone, gone.

I guess being gone is the escape. But then what is this, what is this sensation I feel. What am I feeling, hello inner parts of my body. Hello mind’s eye, hello voice in my head. How do you do, how are you today?

I am perfectly miserable, and would find no greater delight then for my head to be cut off and placed upon a pike.

HAHAHhaha, just kidding. I never liked pikes; they are bad for the environment. Can’t have the land have a hole in it. That would be bad, we must think about those we come after.

I must create the same false sense of security I received from those before me. Because I don’t care about the people who come after me, may they get my fate but one much much worse.

Much much so much. Munch munch, please munch my skull between your lovely pearly teeth. Your luscious pink lips. Just who are you, I always thought if my prison were to have a key it would be hand held. Just what creature are you, are you human hello Mrs. Human are you human?

Yello, howdy, salutations Mrs. Human. Are you here to save me, or are you my personal escort to an even lower prison. The prison even lower must be remarkable, seriously what could be worse than this Mrs. Human.

Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human. I like Mrs. Human, maybe Mrs. Human is the key I always needed.

Mrs. Human is just the salvation I have always seen before my eyes. I mean she could be real but doesn’t mean I will get her.

What does anything mean. Am I speaking English? Hello. Vowels what are vowels. A, E, R, T.

What about numbers, how long was I in prison? How far do numbers go, it must be farther than even that. Where was my prison located, hello prison just where are you located.

What do you mean you can’t talk, talk you stupid prison. You are a stupid prison, stupid stupid prison.

Ugh, if only you could talk prison, then I would know how to find you. I mean I am not in the prison, but surely this is not what is out of it. So, what is this, the lobby? A waiting room between stages. Where is the elevator music? Must I do everything by myself? Okay drums hit it. One, two, three, two.

“Bow, bow, bow. I am a prisoner in my cell. In my cell I am a prisoner. Did you know that I am a prisoner in my cell. No way, how did you know that. Did you know that I actually was lying earlier and never remember a time I wasn’t in this cell. Hello cell do you have a number I can call; I must say you are looking very appealing. I am feeling some hunger. Hahaha, just kidding cell, sorry you are not my type. I don’t even know your location.”

Was that good elevator music, oh yeah Mrs. Human is here, did you like my elevator music. Open your orbitals, open open. Are you sleeping? I just realized I haven’t slept in so long, I actually never remember ever sleeping.

How can that be, 8 hours is the key to success. 8 hours a day keeps the evil sleep titans away. Be gone sleep titan, I will not succumb to your ways.

Wash, poo, kachow. You can’t beat me; I am your father. HAAHAH, plot twisted. Twist me like my DNA, my cursed DNA. My genes must read.

“Miserable prison inmate, in a prison cell.”

In red colors, with red font so you can’t even read it. But it is so twisted that my body reads it anyways hahaha.

What does the lord look like?

If the lord came down in a form like Mrs. Human, and tried to fight me would I win? I mean there’s multiple ways to tackle this question. Does he retain his divine powers? If so, I am dying pretty quick. But maybe he doesn’t, then I have a chance. I can just slit his throat with my nails.

Maybe he will have powers, but he will not wish to hurt me. I don’t know, I don’t know. Prisoner number 1, please report to duty.

Aye, aye captain. I’m coming to duty, let me tie my shoelaces.

“Ties shoelaces.”

Mrs. Human, finally yes, your eyes are opening. Oh wow, what a color th-.

What what no no. Mrs. Human why are there tears surrounding your pretty eyes. Stop it please, stop it lord save her. Mrs. Human you can’t cry no, no I will not let it Mrs. Human.

Please take me back into my prison if it means it will save her. Why, why. Forget every other prayer I have ever made, just please please save her.

What was I talking about, I haven’t been through misery, I haven’t been through anything until this moment. Seeing her beautiful Mrs. Human eyes cry, no no.

System Malware.

Erawlam Mtesys.

This cannot be, nothing is this cruel. No, please please. Why can’t I move now. I need to save Mrs. Human, watching her cry is like seeing the ideal world in front of me shatter. I take it back, it did give me hope, it gave me so much hope. I cannot watch my hope crash down like this, I cannot watch Mrs. Human crash down like this. Get up, get up you miserable fire ant. Save Mrs. Human, sacrifice yourself for her.

BEAT DOWN ON THOSE WHO ARE NOT MRS. HUMAN

I am pushing, pushing so hard. Every meaningless molecule on my body is trying its upmost best to move. Please move.

My fingers, it is so close, I can just feel it. A little more, a little more. She is grasping my hand, grasp her back. I can’t I can’t do anything.

I have always been a failure; I mean to be born in a cell. What can be worse than that. Where are my parents, hello cell are you, my father. Ahhh, another plot twist.

Mrs. Human is crying what is wrong with me. You self-absorbed, narcissistic, delusional monster. Save her, you go die in a hole and become nutrients for the soil. Maybe that way you will have purpose, and something can blossom from you.

I hate you; I hate you more than any prison cell. I hate you more than the lord, I hate you more than a wilting flower. I hate you; I hate you.

I HATE YOU.

I HATE YOU.

YOU ARE WHAT I HATE.

I CANNOT EXPLAIN JUST HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.

DIE, DIE, PICK UP YOUR HAND AND STAB YOURSELF REPEATEDLY IN THE EYE.

THE SYSTEM IS FAILING, THE SYSTEM IS BREAKING. THE PRISON BARS ARE BENDING.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, STAB YOUR EYE. What, why eye. STAB ANYTHING YOU MISERABLE FOOL.

AHHHHHHHHH.

MRS. HUMAN SAVE ME.

SAVE

SAVE

SAVE

ME

ME

ME

How small are the smallest humans? Surely, they can’t be this small. I mean how big is my head, how do you even measure a head. Regardless, it can’t be small humans. I don’t know, I just feel like small humans are playing the trombone in my head. It is just pounding so much.

I open my eyes, and they take a second to adjust to my new surroundings. I don’t know, something feels different. It’s bright, I must be staring at the sun.

Before I can even comprehend what is going on, I feel hands attack my neck. Oh yes, I am being killed, finally whooo. What a good turn of events.

Why is there no killing, why is this creature just holding on to my neck. Wait where is the prison? Where am I? What who am I.

Ahhhh, my head.

I AM ASSAULTED BY MEMORIES FLASHING THROUGH MY HEAD, AS IF EACH MOMENT WAS AN INDIVIDUAL FLASHCARD.

I WAS BORN TO MY MOM AND DAD, NOT A PRISON CELL.

I GREW UP. Nice, good to know.

I AM FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE, LOOK AT ME HAHAHA.

I AM WRITING ON PAPER.

I AM READING PAPER.

I AM PUTTING PAPER IN MY BAG. CAN WE MOVE ON FROM PAPER, IT SEEMS LIKE AN AWFUL AMOUNT OF TIME ON PAPER.

OH LOOK, MY PARENTS ARE CRYING AS THEY HUG ME. I SHOULD BE CALLED THE CRY INDUCER. GET IT BECAUSE I MAKE PEOPLE CRY.

This slideshow is boring now, it just hurts my head and makes me sad. Reminds me of my prison cell. Hahaha. I think I am not me, or I was not me. One of the two, I don’t know it’s hard to think when there are images flying through your head.

OH LOOK, IT IS MRS. HUMAN HI MRS HUMAN HI HI. I MISSED YOU, YOU LOOK HAPPY. OH MY GOD WE ARE WALKING IN THE HALLWAYS OF SCHOOL TOGETHER. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, MWAH MWAH MWAH.

Oh my, I love this slideshow I was so wrong. We are hugging, I want to hug you again where are you MRS. HUMAN.

What is this, I am walking alone on the side of the street.

AHH, my head my head hurts the slideshow just ended.

Mrs. Human looks familiar, I mean all of that slideshow looked familiar. Hmm, just who am I? How do I find myself. I always knew expression was the way.

What is that sound, the person still holding my neck is crying. That’s funny, I forgot that someone was.

I can move my hands a bit better now, though much too slow. Her hair is so silky and beautiful. I touch it, in an effort for her to sit up so I can see who is crying on.

MRS. HUMAN, no that is not her.

That is her, the girl in my slideshow. And she is staring at me, crying. But it is a happy cry, she is smiling. Did I make her smile, I think I did.

Whooo, yeah what a great turn of events. I made her smile; I made the person I love smile. Hehe. She kisses my forehead, what a lovely lovely person.

I am tired, I think I can finally sleep.

Wait before I sleep, I finally realize. What don’t tuck me in, I am not ready I still have some things to go over.

Fine, will be tucked and think. I can multitask.

Am I out of the prison? Surely right. But there was never an escape, there was no ladder, no door, no nothing. How am I out, I never thought I could be. Wait now, don’t put the blanket over me sweet angel. Let me think.

Oh, your sweet smile, you are right I can think after I wake. I don’t think I will wake up in my cell tomorrow, that is good, that is great actually. I think I would be much happier if I wasn’t so sleepy. It is the best thing to ever happen to me. I actually can’t even remember what my cell looks like. Good, good.

Goodnight, have a wonderful sweet rest. Oh look a blossoming flower, how beautiful. I wonder how long it took for it to get this way.

Hahaha, sleepy time now, finally.